Seinfeld Episodes - Rated for Family Friendliness

Season 1
1 "The Seinfeld Chronicles" Almost Clean  
2 "The Stake Out" Almost Clean adult video discussed in first scene, Jerry calls himself a j....ss
3 "The Robbery" Not Clean opening routine about the middle finger, mention of sexual activity in the tub
4 "Male Unbonding" Almost Clean  worst words to hear are "who's bra is this?" 
5 "The Stock Tip" Not Clean weekend trip with gf
Season 2
1 "The Ex-Girlfriend" Not Clean  
2 "The Pony Remark" Almost Clean  George mentions "never having sex again." 
3 "The Jacket" Almost Clean  Elaine's father says sob
4 "The Phone Message" Not Clean going up for "coffee"
5 "The Apartment" Not Clean  
6 "The Statue" Almost Clean 1 reference to sex
7 "The Revenge" Not Clean  Elaine flirts about being naked everywhere and sleeping around
8 "The Heart Attack" Not Clean  
9 "The Deal" Not Clean  Plot revolves around Jerry and Elaine sleeping together after seeing porn 
10 "The Baby Shower" Not Clean  Mention of nudity and "lovin'" in play, nudity on TV 
11 "The Chinese Restaurant" Almost Clean  George describes fooling around with Tatiana 
12 "The Busboy" Not Clean  Plot with Elaine revolves around guy staying with her.
Season 3
1 "The Note" Not Clean  Plot with George revolves around him feeling something sexual when massaged by a man 
2 "The Truth" Not Clean  
3 "The Pen" Clean  
4 "The Dog" Clean  
5 "The Library" Not Clean  
6 "The Parking Garage" Almost Clean  Urinating in public, mention of "your mother is a whore" as the final punchline in last monologue. 
7 "The CafĂ©" Clean  
8 "The Tape" Not Clean  Plot revolves around tape with erotic message on it 
9 "The Nose Job" Not Clean  
10 "The Stranded" Not Clean  
11 "The Alternate Side" Not Clean  h word, mention of sex with older man 
12 "The Red Dot" Not Clean  sex with the cleaning lady 
13 "The Subway" Not Clean  
14 "The Pez Dispenser" Almost Clean mention of getting some "hand" 
15 "The Suicide" Almost Clean mention of swimsuit models nude, couple moving in together
16 "The Fix-Up" Not Clean  
17 "The Boyfriend" Not Clean  what the h are you two talking about, d word, sex with tall women
18 "The New Friend" Not Clean part 2 of above 
19 "The Limo" Almost Clean  a word
20 "The Good Samaritan" Not Clean  
21 "The Letter" Not Clean  
22 "The Parking Space" Almost Clean a word
23 "The Keys" Almost Clean Kramer and girl in Jerry's bedroom, h word, Kramer flirting with truck driver
Season 4
1 "The Trip (Part 1)" Almost clean Skip the first scene
2 "The Trip (Part 2)" Clean  
3 "The Pitch" Almost Clean 1 reference to masturbation 
4 "The Ticket" Almost Clean 1 reference to masturbation
5 "The Wallet" Almost Clean sexual references
6 "The Watch" Not Clean  
7 "The Bubble Boy" Not Clean  premise of unmarried couples travelling for the weekend, suggestion of Elaine sleeping naked with Jerry
8 "The Cheever Letters" Not Clean  
9 "The Opera" Clean  
10 "The Virgin" Not Clean  
11 "The Contest" Not Clean  plot centers around masturbation 
12 "The Airport" Almost Clean model describes photoshoot
13 "The Pick" Not Clean  
14 "The Movie" Not Clean  
15 "The Visa" Almost Clean 1 reference to sex
16 "The Shoes" Not Clean  
17 "The Outing" Not Clean  
18 "The Old Man" Not Clean  
19 "The Implant" Not Clean   
20 "The Junior Mint" Almost Clean female body parts
21 "The Smelly Car" Not Clean  
22 "The Handicap Spot" Almost Clean s o b
23-24 "The Pilot" Not Clean  
Season 5
1 "The Mango" Not Clean  
2 "The Puffy Shirt" Not Clean  
3 "The Glasses" Almost Clean one use of s o b in the last line of the show
4 "The Sniffing Accountant" Not Clean  
5 "The Bris" Not Clean  
6 "The Lip Reader" Not Clean  d word, mixing up six and sex 
7 "The Non-Fat Yogurt" Not Clean  h word, f word (bleeped, but part of plot), mention of sex with oreos
8 "The Barber" Clean  
9 "The Masseuse" Not Clean  
10 "The Cigar Store Indian" Not Clean  
11 "The Conversion" Almost Clean  lots of making out 
12 "The Stall" Not Clean phone sex
13 "The Dinner Party" Not Clean  "s. o. b." (as initials) in opening monologue, buying dirty magazine and reading from it 
14 "The Marine Biologist" Clean  
15 "The Pie" Not Clean  
16 "The Stand-In" Not Clean  
17 "The Wife" Almost Clean gf sleeping w/Jerry
18-19 "The Raincoats" Not Clean  
20 "The Fire" Clean  
21 "The Hamptons" Not Clean   
22 "The Opposite" Almost Clean "are you sure you don't want to come up?", "sex with cleaning woman" and "moving in together"
Season 6
1 "The Chaperone" Almost Clean  opening bit mentions sex, "oh shut the <bleep> up,"  mention of sleeping with our country's enemy's leader
2 "The Big Salad" Almost Clean  d word in final line of show 
3 "The Pledge Drive" Clean man thought to be gay, people giving "the finger"
4 "The Chinese Woman" Not Clean  
5 "The Couch" Clean  
6 "The Gymnast" Not Clean  
7 "The Soup" Clean  
8 "The Mom & Pop Store" Clean  
9 "The Secretary" Not Clean  
10 "The Race" Almost Clean George "lost his virginity"
11 "The Switch" Not Clean   
12 "The Label Maker" Not Clean  
13 "The Scofflaw" Clean  
14-15 "The Highlights of 100"    
16 "The Beard" Not Clean   
17 "The Kiss Hello" Not Clean  
18 "The Doorman" Almost Clean  
19 "The Jimmy" Not Clean  
20 "The Doodle" Not Clean  
21 "The Fusilli Jerry" Not Clean  
22 "The Diplomat's Club" Not Clean  
23 "The Face Painter" Almost Clean  
24 "The Understudy" Almost Clean One brief groping incident in the car with Mr. Costanza - skippable
Season 7
1 "The Engagement" Almost Clean  unmarried couple in bed, 1 omg
2 "The Postponement" Not Clean  scene with discussion of make up sex and conjugal visits 
3 "The Maestro" Almost Clean makeout session, lawyer uses d word at least three times 
4 "The Wink" Not Clean  
5 "The Hot Tub" Not Clean  bastards, SOBs, hell
6 "The Soup Nazi" Clean  
7 "The Secret Code" Clean  
8 "The Pool Guy" Almost Clean  mention of women tickling each other in underwear
9 "The Sponge" Not Clean   
10 "The Gum" Not Clean   
11 "The Rye" Not Clean  
12 "The Caddy" Not Clean  
13 "The Seven" Almost Clean 1 reference to sex
14-15 "The Cadillac" Not Clean engaged couple living together, affair, reference to sex
16 "The Shower Head" Almost Clean  2 references to sex 
17 "The Doll" Almost Clean  Couple kissing in bed 
18 "The Friars Club" Not Clean   
19 "The Wig Master" Not Clean   
20 "The Calzone" Clean  
21-22 "The Bottle Deposit" Clean  
23 "The Wait Out" Not Clean  
24 "The Invitations" Almost Clean death
Season 8
1 "The Foundation" Clean  
2 "The Soul Mate" Clean Vasectomies integral to the plot
3 "The Bizarro Jerry" Clean  
4 "The Little Kicks" Almost Clean mentions film with excessive sexual content
5 "The Package" Not Clean  
6 "The Fatigues" Clean  
7 "The Checks" Clean  
8 "The Chicken Roaster" Almost Clean "you should sleep with him"
9 "The Abstinence" Not Clean   
10 "The Andrea Doria" Clean  
11 "The Little Jerry" Not Clean  
12 "The Money" Not Clean   
13 "The Comeback" Not Clean  
14 "The Van Buren Boys" Almost Clean Jerry talks about spending the weekend with his gf
15 "The Susie" Almost Clean fine until Mr. Pederman's comments at the memorial service toward the end
16 "The Pothole" Almost Clean scene w/ gf&bf in bathrobes
17 "The English Patient" Almost Clean  
18 "The Nap" Almost Clean using the mattress, dirty magazine
19 "The Yada Yada" Not Clean   
20 "The Millennium" Clean body suit man
21 "The Muffin Tops" Clean  
22 "The Summer of George" Not Clean   
Season 9
1 "The Butter Shave" Almost Clean d word, h word, mention of porn star
2 "The Voice" Not Clean  
3 "The Serenity Now" Not Clean   
4 "The Blood" Not Clean  
5 "The Junk Mail" Not Clean   
6 "The Merv Griffin Show" Almost Clean  mention of sex w/gf 
7 "The Slicer" Almost Clean  some language 
8 "The Betrayal" Not Clean   
9 "The Apology" Not Clean  
10 "The Strike" Almost Clean 3 d words, hot date and sheets joke
11 "The Dealership" Clean  
12 "The Reverse Peephole" Almost Clean implied adulterous affair
13 "The Cartoon" Not Clean  
14 "The Strongbox" Not Clean   
15 "The Wizard" Clean  
16 "The Burning" Almost Clean  Elaine going to hell for having a good time w/ bf, gonorrhea
17 "The Bookstore" Almost Clean  making out, d word 
18 "The Frogger" Not Clean  Jerry sleeps with gf to avoid serial killer 
19 "The Maid" Not Clean  see plot... 
20 "The Puerto Rican Day" Clean mention of pregnant unmarried girl 
21 "The Chronicle" Not Clean   
22 "The Clip Show" Not Clean  
23-24 "The Finale" Not Clean  Part I is clean.